I hear all the time from other moms how they just need a little “me” time. So often I hear how they go to the gym to work out to have that bit of alone time. Sometimes I’m even a little jealous of it. You see I have 5 kids yes FIVE full time kids at home ALL the time. They are home schooled so I don’t even get that “break” though honestly I don’t want it, most of the time. Add to that my husband is in the military and currently stationed on a ship that it home ported 150 ish miles from this place we currently call home and I don’t often even have the chance for “me” time or to swap with my husband so I can go work out, get a massage or whatever.
I have learned to MAKE the time. Every Sunday night (and sometimes more frequently) after I put Finn to sleep around 7, I creep into my bathroom and light some candles and draw myself a bath. Then I drop in some Himalayan and Dead Sea Salts and Epsom Salts. Today for a splurge I added some foam bath. Then I climb on in and soak and relax for at least 20 minutes.
Those moments letting the water support me, cradle me while the salts help to release toxins and reconnect me with the earth are some of the best moments each week. Just mentally letting things go. I try not to make lists or plan things in my bath but just relax and let my thoughts just flow.
I’ve had the same dream now three nights in a row. Today I woke up and it was so very vivid that I really believe it is part of my future. In my dream I’ve lost the weight, I’m fit & strong and happy. I’m at an event of some sort that I have spoken at. As I am coming off the stage there is a small crowd of people waiting to meet me to share with me. There are three people I meet whose lives I have impacted who stand out in my dream.
The first is a woman older than me I suspect her to be in her mid to late 40’s maybe really 50’s. She is still on her journey to fitness. She tells me how she is once in a wheel chair, because of her weight issues. She tells me how when she started exercising she was still in her wheel chair and started doing her workouts mostly while sitting down. As time passed she was stronger and able to do the workouts and by the time I meet her she is off her medications. I hug her and tell her to keep doing what use is doing.
I move on to the young man 19 or 20 ish he is tall and wearing a green shirt. He has pictures to show me and tells me that while he was still him high school he was really overweight and out of shape and severely depressed. Something had happened and he told me that he was seriously thinking of killing himself when he saw my blog. That I inspired him to get a program and work out. When I meet him he tells me that he has become a coach and is going to school to learn more about health and fitness and be a personal trainer to really help the people he is coaching. At this point I’m in tears. To think that because of my blog I saved his life.
The final person in my dream is a wounded vet. He had lost a leg and told me how he had been a very active person because of it but because of his injury he was on a path of self-destruction. He had been over eating, not exercising and drinking heavily. He told me I inspired him to get up and get active just try. He told me how he got his life back on track and now does outreach to broken soldiers is what he said in my dream.
I honestly get teary just thinking about it. I am really excited for the day in the future that I make it a reality. I can do this. I won’t let us down. Together we can do this.
I have to honestly say the past 3 years business wise, personal wise & family wise have been such a whirlwind. From in 2010 my business grew to SIX TIMES what it had been in 2009 and 2009 had already DOUBLED 2008. I was in awe. I was and have been struggling to keep up ever since. I have felt constantly behind always wanting to do more, make more, be more, create more new products trying to fill everyone’s needs. The person’s needs I was ignoring most of the time were my own. In the past 3 years I have gained an additional 50 lbs on my already overweight 5′ 1″ body . I can’t even begin to tell you how many times in the past few years at shows someone would come to my booth and tell me they had been following my blog or heard from a friend about my products but just didn’t expect me to be so fat. I’ve mostly laughed it off saying things like “yeah 3 term pregnancies in 5 years will do that to you” or “I have no me time with 3 kids I’m homeschooling and an infant/toddler” when what I really wanted was to cry. Every single time I thought about a missed sale or connection because I was fat. It was time for a change. In the 20+ shows I did from 2009-2011 this is the ONLY picture I have of me with my booth, and the only reason is I was being photographed with the winners of the scavenger hunt for my herbal tea.
What does this mean for Lana Bella? Well I recently started project me aka Jenni loses 100+ lbs by my birthday next year. To accomplish this for my self-esteem, for my health (please lets not discuss how there are plenty of bigger people in better health than some skinny people because I know for ME being 100+ lbs overweight is not healthy for my mind. body or spirit), for my spirit, for my family, I’ll be pulling back a little. I’ll be saying No a little more. I’ll let things run out of stock once in a while. It’s honestly a lot of work keeping 50+ soaps in stock never mind the other products. I’ll be keeping more accurate inventory. So when you order a 3, 4, or 6 pack of soap and you want x of something please don’t be angry if you get an email back and I say I’m sorry I only have b left would you like a substitution? I’ll be setting aside only two days a month for making what I get done will have to be enough. I will add a third day in and get prepped better for holiday. I will warn you though there will only be 45 bars total of the holiday soaps I won’t be making more that gives you from Nov 1 (I’ll have them ready a little earlier this year) until they sell out to get them. If you know now that you want 12 of something for teachers gift or stockings please contact me soon so I can get in into my schedule. Also know that because of the multiple shops and the single inventory I am human so there may be time when an order comes in that I haven’t adjusted inventory elsewhere I’m sorry in advance, and hey you might luck out and get an upgrade in size because of it :).
I find it a bit ironic that when I started my business back in 2004 I had found an article on another diaper makers website about smallering. It made so much sense then and I tried to follow the ideals. Then in 2010 doing shows was a total new whirlwind for me. I am ever grateful for all those shows financially they really helped us to do so much with our family, that never would have happened otherwise. For now to move forward though I need to slow down. Somehow I have a 3.5 year old and nearly two teenagers, life is moving too fast and I don’t want to miss any more of their childhoods.
You might find me blogging more though there will be a lot of transformations happening. I’ve also started a second blog. I was on the fence about this for a very long time. I only wanted the responsibilities of maintaining one blog, however I wasn’t sure how much I was ready to share about my weight loss journey. In the past week its funny it has 9 days I’ve decided I’m pretty comfortable with sharing it all but I’ll spare you that journey and instead refer you to the other blog so you can follow my weightless transformation over there. If you have been struggling with it yourself please contact me I’d love to discuss with no obligations what I am doing and how excited I am. I’ve hated clothes shopping for a really long time however I’m really excited about buying exercise clothing go figure! I’m really excited about the changes and I hope we can all still work together.
This also means I am more than ever open to wholesale. I’d honestly rather spend those 2 making days a month making a really big order and put it to bed and have that much less responsibility.
Thank you for all of your support over the years and I hope in the future! Lets bring it!
Has something ever happened to you and you are so excited you want every one you know and care about to be on board and doing it with you? Something you know is going to already changing you life for the better? Something you wish you had been ready for even earlier but are so grateful that you finally are? Thats exactly the place I’m in right now. NEVER before have I been excited to exercise, felt better after doing so. Yeah, sure there were those days in the beginning I was really sore and, yes there were a total of 3 aleve taken to get me though it. Now 1 week in I feel like I’m on fire. Every time I do a work out I’m able to push myself a little further, do it a little better, and feel a little less “worn out” than the time before.
This is why Beach Body keeps telling you to just push play. If you do that it is completely life changing. I know its only a week in to the program but something happened to me today to reaffirm this feeling inside me. I had my truck stolen about a month ago and the shop that was supposed to fix it didn’t do that great of a job and the insurance company and I have been going round and round with this shop getting them to make it right. They were supposed to get it back in the shop yesterday I ate red plans swapped my rest days to make it more convenient for them and here it was 330 pm and it still wasn’t back in. I was so frustrated with their lies and you know what my first response was? It was damn I wish I still had my workout to do because I sure would have a target for all those punches in the sweat routine today. I had already worked out though. I was still in my workout clothes even so instead I spent a bit looking at other workouts thinking hmmm maybe I should just order Tai Cheng. I needed something then though so even ordering it wouldn’t help me right now I went and started “running” laps up and down my stairs. I have to say two things about that 1. two weeks ago I NEVER would have thought of dealing with stress that way & 2. had I not been working out for the past week I wouldn’t have been able to do it twice never mind keep it up for nearly 20 minutes.
I beg you if you have been on the fence for a while now wavering between wanting to do something and actually doing something about it click on the links or the buttons and join me we can change our lives together. There are some amazing deals going on right now if you don’t see something that works for your finances just contact me please! I admit the cost was one of the things that held me back for a while. I don’t know why plus size clothes cost twice as much, and really isn’t your health worth it? A serving of shakeology costs less than most value meals, 90 days worth of power 90 costs less than a candy bar. Think of it this way skip your latte and donut or cake pop or pound cake every day for a month and you have covered your expenses for BOTH your shakeology AND your workout program! Do it for you, do it for me, and pay it forward!
Adrenal issues are something I’ve been struggling with for a while. The first thing people often ask me when they realize how healthy I’ve been eating for years now and how I have continued to gain weight is “have you had your thyroid tested?”, the answer is yes my thyroid is functioning normally. However my adrenals are not. Poor little buggers are just stressed beyond stressed. With living on one income, deployments, pregnancies, pregnancies during deployments, babies, and just modern day stress my thyroid has been asked to work a little too hard for a little too long.
Some days I wish I was one of those people who lost weight when they were stressed, however I’m not. I’m the girl who could gain 5lbs from drinking a glass of water when she is stressed instead. The reason is my adrenal glands those little glands that sit just above your kidneys, your fight or flight glands. My adrenals have been in a state of constant stress they keep telling my body to store fat there is am emergency coming and it must prepare. People with adrenal issues commonly have lots of excess abdominal fat and if you have seen my previous posts you know that is me. If you would like more information on how stress (and your adrenals) might be contributing to your weight gain as a woman read more here.
So what am I doing about it. The number one thing I’m trying to do is sleep until I wake naturally. Luckily I have 2 types of kids in my house I have my early risers in 3 of the boys and then later kids with 2 other kids. This means that because Aidan (12) is already awake he doesn’t mind helping Finn (3) grab some breakfast & watch tv or play a game while I sleep in a little. It also means that I don’t feel like a zombie in the afternoon. I have also learned that when I do get that zombie state its okay to take a little rest because I’m useful to no one if I can’t even form words. I’ve also eliminated gluten again for myself. Yes I did have a hamburger today for the 4th with a bun but 95% of the time I eliminate it for myself. Gluten is tough on your adrenals as well as your digestion in general. I’ve also made a promise to myself that even though Shakeology has a ton of vitamins in it and in the long run I’m sure it will help its just not quite enough for me right now so I am continuing with my daily vitamin as well as adrenal support supplements and additional magnesium. I am also using eleuthero tincture a few drops IN my coffee whenever I have coffee to help balance. I am so magnesium depleted that I also make sure to take a bath weekly. That time soaking in my tub is probably the most precious and so rejuvenating in many more ways than just my adrenals. I am also making the commitment to myself to spend more time earthing (thanks Laura) and getting more sunshine to really up those vitamin d levels.
Since I started exercising with Power 90 5 days ago there have only been TWO days I had that afternoon sluggish feeling. The first was yesterday. I thought possibly on Monday I might have worked out too late in the day but I wasn’t sure and did it anyway. Unfortunately I couldn’t fall asleep til almost 3am. ICK. I still woke up Tuesday around 9 with a list a mile long to complete but I just never really got my groove. I know now to work out earlier in the day. The second day was today. I had a list a mile long and wanted to get up early because I had some friends coming over at 11 wanted to get my stuff done and get a workout in. I set my alarm early for 7:45 vs the 9/9:15 I typically naturally wake up, then I hit snooze so when I woke up at 9:15 I felt “late” like I was behind. Not a good way to start the day when your “stress glands” are having issues. I skipped most of my to do list this morning in lieu of pushing play and working that sculpt circuit. I also find it a little ironic that yesterday I planned to talk about my adrenals and here they were reminding me too by telling me to rest a little.
So tomorrow don’t expect to see me before 9 and I think I’m going to go back to an early afternoon (by 1 pm) workout and see if that helps by giving me that little push to get through the afternoon a little better. With that Its already 10:25 and I’m going to go unto sleep and hope the fireworks end soon because I have 2 little boys who are afraid of them and I’d like to get some sleep tonight!