Birthday month anyway! It is no secret if you’ve followed me for any amount of time that i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE red velvet cupcakes and while I’m not indulging until my actual birthday later this month doesn’t mean that my cupcake love can’t inspire your savings. So go ahead shop away and SAVE 25% off with code REDVELVET. In addition to your savings I will be donating 10% of all sales to Rory Loves to help my 9-year-old fulfill his dream of raising money to help others and to go to Uganda.
So much of what I thought I wanted has changed so drastically in the past few months. I had a very wise friend not to long ago tell me honestly I didn’t need to hate money or dealing with the financial aspects of my business because I could do so much with it if I would just allow myself to. She was right and it has changed my perspective so much.
I used to want to make more money with both my soap business and with my Beachbody business so I could do more, have more, be more, but, now I realize I want to be financially independent so I am free to GIVE more, more time, more money, more hope.
I want more than to worry about making a living, or even having to budget down to every last penny with the absolute fear of a big car repair bill, or medical emergency could wipe out everything. I want when my 8yo says he wants to go to Uganda to help kids be able to say “ok let’s do it and plan that trip and go”. I’m feeling called more and more to give, to help, to LIVE, to love.
I’m more concerned these days about making a life. With my husband mere months from eligibility of military retirement I feel more and more stress about how I have failed to live as frugal of a life as I should have so we would be in a better position for him to retire. I feel like because I didn’t get my thyroid taken care of earlier so I could be a product of the product I have failed. I feel like my fear of working out after we discovered it was my thyroid for fear that I would still be obese and none of it would matter anyway I have failed. Most of all I fear like I have failed my kids with my poor money management skills and not having an adequate savings, or not being able to “say sure let’s do” it more often or sometimes even at all.
It changes now. I understand it now. I want to make my life, not just a living now. Here is how I’m starting to give more, but, I need YOUR help. This year I will be launching 2 new soaps. The first HOPE and every time you buy a bar of Hope I will set aside another bar to send to Restore International for them to send to their Orphanages. Heck if you are feeling very generous you can even send your bar too it will be an option during checkout. Additionally $1 of each sale is going into “Rory’s Africa Fund” to help make his dream a reality. The second DREAM and dream will work similarly except the extra bar will be going in donation to my local food pantry and homeless shelters. I envision the extra $1 going into a fund where we can just do random acts of kindness for people, I love seeing how just paying for the coffee or meal of the car behind you can snowball into something so much bigger.
I had thought to end it there. I thought those two would be enough but while I was typing that all out I thought of a third way to give. The third LOVE and with that YOU can tell me where you want your extra bar to go. I’ll split the $1 into the two above funds.
If you are local to me in Port Angeles, WA I’m sure you have noticed the fingerless gloves, hats, and other knit items made by me and let you know that the sales of these items has also been going into Rory’s Africa Fund. Non locals if you see me posting such items on social media and you want them please speak up and we can make arrangements.
In the meantime so I can clear out stock and space for these as well as the new soaps I’ve got up my sleeves for you I’ll be offering all of my INSTOCK items in my shop at 25% off using code NOURISH expires January 30, 2015 so I have time to get all the new goodies listed for you for February 1! Valid in my SHOP and on ETSY.
Once again I THANK you for your continued support.
So many times I’ve thought of starting this post and I’m sure I’ve thought of at least 100 better titles than just what you are getting today. As I spend days upon days, weeks, months THREE plus YEARS of not feeling like ME, not feeling enough, better, healthy, rested, organized enough, fast enough, strong enough I inevitably end up more often than not in tears, struggling with my thoughts, angry at not feeling enough, and simultaneously grateful for everything I do feel that I am in a place that I know there is more, that we need to BELIEVE, HOPE, WISH, DREAM that we can find that place and then one day it happened. I began to PRAY. To have conversations with Jesus, to listen. Then one day that wasn’t enough anymore I had to do.
How did this happen? God if I know (LITERALLY, pun intended). One day I was living my semi comfortable life, the next day I was on a magnificent roller coaster that has been designed by something so much bigger than me and managed by at the time a 7 year old boy calling the shots. I can think of no less than 3 of my friends who are going to discount this post already and think I’m a complete idiot for backtracking, for changing my mind, for talking about God and it is those people who have stopped me from writing this post or similar ones for over a year now. I’m not saying you have to believe, or not believe, or follow my path or believe that its true but just as I don’t argue your beliefs or lack of I’d appreciate the same courtesy.
My children were not raised in the church, or even with discussions of God, I don’t even know if until last year my 3 youngest knew the reasons behind Christmas or Easter or even Hanukkah or Passover for that matter they were just things we did, like birthdays or Halloween or Thanksgiving. I avoided any curriculum with any mention or glancing or hint of religion especially Christianity. I know there have been people on Facebook & social media who I have Unfollowed over the years because of all their “God Talk” and I promise to keep that to a minimum also because even as I am moved I think its also a personal and private relationship. I think that is a lot of what turned me off as well as the people who bash each other over religion, and how their version is the only right version. I think Queen Elizabeth had it right when she said there is but one God the rest is all trifles only I think it needs to be amended to be there is only one LOVE because I don’t care if you do things because of God, Allah, G-d, Mickey Mouse, Batman, Humanity I think we should all just DO things, LOVE people, BE kind, not judge, not argue, because what makes any of us best or least of all?
One day last October Jesus ruined my life as I knew it and you know what I’m pretty happy about it most days. Out of the blue Rory asked if we could go to church, I was totally blindsided I just looked at him and said yes. I found a Catholic church not far from home checked out the times and made plans. Sunday Morning came and that kid went and got dressed it was just the two of us I honestly figured it would be a one time thing an hour out of my life, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Something spoke to my kids heart at mass that day. He couldn’t wait to go back. The following Sunday it was me & him and another surprise was Finn wanted to come too. Rory asked if we could talk to the priest afterwards like he had seen others doing. Sure kid, let’s do it. Rory marched right up to him and asked if they could pray together, my kid who had in his life to my knowledge never prayed, and only been to church TWICE including the this actual time. Then before he could stand Rory put his hands on his shoulders and blessed him I don’t know the words I honestly was answering a question from Finn, I was told that whatever Rory said was something that the priest himself hadn’t learned until he was at Seminary. How do you respond to that? I had no words I still don’t. I wish I had taken better notes in those early months as to the way my kid went from being my child to my leader. There are moments that greatly stand out that I have shared with my close personal friends. There are jokes about us calling him Jesus Rory, I know if I wasn’t watching it unfold first hand I wouldn’t believe any of it. And for the record NO I do NOT think my kid is Jesus, I just know that I have learned more about Jesus FROM him in the past year than all the years of my life before INCLUDING all the time “studying” for my own Confirmation.
I used to think and the media of late hasn’t helped at all that most Christians were judgmental jerks, who lived by a do as I say not as I do practice. Sadly that still holds true all to often but today I have learned that more christians are ever day people who just want to live in a better world, who believe there is more, that there is hope for our broken world. I am one of those people. I try my hardest to DO not just say. I think we should help where we can. I am glad to be the mother of a boy who tells me every single day how much he loves me and then follows it up with but, I love Jesus more. I am glad that my long haired boy planned his Halloween costume from February to be Jesus to LOVE like Jesus. To lead his family, MY family towards a different direction because the things I’m seeing through his eyes, his love are some of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.
There was a whole lot more I was going to say in this post, so much more I was going to share but you know what that same long haired Jesus loving boy is patiently waiting on my now to go play video games with him so I’m going to go do that with him right now because I know we can still go play World of Warcraft AND love Jesus.
Oh and I think I’ll be sharing with you how one day my kid got me to send an email to Bob Goff author of LOVE DOES so we could help out some kids and then how Rory decided he needed to DO more and we put our money where our hearts are and ENGAGED a kid from Uganda.
‘Tis The Giving Season
I know some of you may be groaning and mentioning that its barely November that there is still plenty of time but what you might not be aware of is how early Hanukkah is this year. I know I’m still shocked that it starts BEFORE Thanksgiving. Thats right while most of you will be doing your Thanksgiving Prep we will be sitting down to Brisket (maybe) knowing my kids I’ll just make 2 small turkeys this year vs one large one, and lighting the candles of the first night. My personal favorite part is that Breakfast will easily be taken care of with some leftover Latkes, I hope the kids will save me one!
SHIPPING CUT OFF DATES to ensure delivery in time for the holidays to receive gifts in time for the 1st Night of HanukkahNovember 27 please place your order by November 18 and use coupon code BRIGHTLIGHTS (expires December 5, 2013)
For Delivery in time for Saint Nicholas Day December 6 please place you order by November 25 and use code STNICK (expires December 6, 2013)
For Christmas Eve December 24 please place your order by December 13and use coupon code HOLYNIGHT (expires January 6, 2014)
NOTE these cut off dates apply to domestic (United States) shipping only and NOT international shipping for international shipping cut off please use your country’s average shipping time and plan accordingly.
The coupon codes are all for exactly the same 30% discount it will just help me keep track for the future! I won’t be offering any big Black Friday Deals because I’ll be spending the time with my children and making their gifts I hope you understand only so many hours in the day and all. I am however hoping to get some of the knit items I’ve been making for my children this year ready for you. If you are interested in a custom knit item please message me ASAP CONTACT ME
Thank you all so much for your ongoing support I wish you the very Merriest Everything!!
So often when I see pictures of myself I don’t see the moment of why I took that picture. I don’t enjoy it. I only see how far I still have to go on my weightloss journey. I let all those limiting beliefs creep in.
Today I stepped so far out of my comfort zone I let a 4 year old little boy pick out my outfit. I admit I was pretty scared when he opened my closet and asked that I wear something from there. You see there are clothes that don’t quite fit me they are a little snug and then there is a pair of jeans my mini goal jeans that REALLY don’t fit, though they hang there where I can’t miss them even if I’m just grabbing some yarn.
He didn’t pick anything crazy, he picked the beautiful dress I bought myself in April and never got a chance to wear. It was a little big in some places but I made it work. He handed me mascara and told me I look beautiful when I wear makeup so I pulled out my eyeshadow brushes & added a little lipgloss too. I wore my yellow sandals instead of my vibrams and he wore a button down shirt, some cargo shorts & his favorite old worn cowboy boots handed down from someone that his brothers have worn too. He grabbed his wallet full of hard earned coins from helping around the house and told me about the fun we would have on our date just the two of us.
When your the youngest of six you don’t always get alone time as much as you would like, especially when for the past few years your daddy has been gone more than he is home.
My intent when we left the house was to go to the fabric store to buy more muslin because I ran out & needed more for wrapping soap. While we were there however I thought I should probably buy the bits of fabric I needed to make Elise & Owen their Christmas Stockings, and then there were a couple other fabrics calling my name. Finn asked for some monster fabric so I could make him a “real” wallet and not just the snack pouch he has been using. He was so good recommending fabrics helping me decide even when the line at the cutting table was long. He looked at our number ticket and compared it to the one on the display and told me it wasn’t our turn yet they didn’t match and asked what the words were for the number (92) so he could listen as well. There were people all around us getting annoyed but not Finn he was for this once taking it in stride listening carefully helping me decide of we needed lots or just a little of our various fabrics.
We got Aidan the crotchet hook he needed as well and I didn’t even buy any yarn I’ll have you know. In the long checkout line he was great again so happy because he knew that at the end he could get a candy of his choosing anything he wanted with his own money he was so pleased. He picked sour skittles I didn’t even rain on his joy for that little bag of corn syrup & artificial color and flavor filled poison because I chose that moment to see the gift I was being given in the joy & pride on his face knowing he could pay for it with money he earned.
Driving home he told me I was pretty good and nice at the store so he would like to take me for a burger for lunch for a date. I took a deep breath wanting to say no that we were over our budget & we could eat at home but at that moment how could I say sorry mommy needs a newer truck next year instead of spending this time with you. In the long run the $27 we spent on lunch (and his dinner & later a snack for him & Rory) is much better than whatever else it would have gone towards.
He asked for the pepper place which he started actually calling chili’s while we were there. We shared my salad I enjoyed my first burger since August probably a bit too much. He told me jokes, shared dreams, told me he loved me and I looked beautiful today. He said we should take pictures on our date. We did.
That’s when it happened. For the first time in a long time I didn’t see myself as the fat person. The person with a long journey. The person who not long ago had given up on herself. I saw myself through his eyes. I saw someone who loved. Someone happy. Someone smiling. Someone who was loved. Someone beautiful because a 4 year old boy told me it was true.
You are beautiful too. Don’t give up. I haven’t. But I do know there are many hard days ahead. I’m finding. No I’m forging my path I have little boys who deserve to see me care, to see me happy. To see the light. Please join me we can do it together because I know I can’t do it alone and you shouldn’t have to either.